Truth Is

GOODBYE 2017

I know you’re probably thinking “B****” where the HELL have you been?!? How can you just start AnikaCamelle.com, to disappear for over a month with nothing!! Well TRUTH IS 2017 has been one emotional b****, if it hasn’t been ONE thing, it’s definitely been ANOTHER!! It started out with me possibly changing MY last name to HIS... (sometimes YOU gotta FIGURE some s*** Out, in order for it to TRULY WORK Out!! Don’t worry I fill you in on the details later!) Bought “Opal Leigh” in March, 2017 Brand New she was an early Diva Day Gift to MySelf!! She's been HIT 3 GotD*** Times in less than 4 months, NONE of which have been MY FAULT! 1st time it was a HIT and RUN back in August; some raggedy ghetto dirty looking heffas!!! 2nd time some white meth head chick was so doped up the Friday after Thanksgiving, she didn’t realize there was a stop sign! Big Dummy!!!! (rolls eyes) That's alright I had “Opal Leigh” fixed, got her back on Wednesday 12/13 and then Bambi decides to run her a** in the middle of the street on Friday Night 12/15, Yeap 2 funky a** days later!!! I HATE DEERS and I was starting to regret getting that damn car!!!! Ughhhh!! (Insert Cuss Words) Then back in May I lost half my extra income because it was a government funded program (Working with Pregnant Black Women) and they needed to make “budgets cuts” so of course, the part timer got cut 1st! (Deep Breath) Mind you my full time job is with a state agency (Very Grateful for My Job) but we all know how the state can be! But the kicker is I had someone resurface from MY PAST and It just f***ed up My Whole Mood, thought process was all off! I’ve kind of been in a funk, mild depression ever since! So all that shit I thought had to say, had me stuck on MUTE Honey!!  I bet you’re reading thinking to yourself B**** depression “Black People” especially “Black Women” aren’t allowed to get depressed, let society tell it! Well, like Hell YOU say WE don’t, I (WE) just make this s*** look easy! Or maybe I (and some of y ’all don’t post ALL our Business over the internet for LIKES) just take MY (our) Lickings and Keep on Ticking!! Look I told you in my last post my a** was scary!! So just vibe with ya girl real quick and maybe it’ll start to make a little bit of sense...

Telling Parts of My Truth
"Never in a million years did I think that this would’ve be MY Life
Contemplating going back & forth for YEARS with ni**a’s who Lord knows weren’t Right
But it’s like I couldn’t Give Up that FIGHT
Fight to Prove that MY Love for HIM, THEM, and IT would PREVAIL
Fight to Prove that MY Forgiveness for it ALL was REAL
Fight to Prove that People DO actually CHANGE
Fight to Prove that MAYBE this s*** NOT gon be the SAME
Same as the Last Time, THEY or HIM (depending on what situation I’m talking about) said it was the Last Time, before the Last Time, which finally I said f*** this shit n****, I’ve had ENOUGH this is the LAST Time!! (Sometimes You Just Get Tired)
Last time I let THEM lie to ME and not go with MY Womanly Intuition
Last time I let THEM hurt ME with No Consequences
Yeah I know I wasn't using MY Senses
But s*** when YOU TRULY LOVE someone do you think about the sense of LOVE for YOURSELF First??
NOPE just the Sense to Think that MAYBE they’ve FINALLY Gotten It
You know like maybe I lied for years and kept that SECRET because I was too scared to tell and didn’t want to hurt MY Family with the TRUTH
Yeah the sense to realize that He might actually be as good in person like he is on paper… but TRUTH IS that scared the s*** outta ME… Thought he was great with his words but sometimes they cut deeper than Angel’s Daddy… Who actually cheated, had a kid and I stayed (Hello Dumb Dumb) because I was still trying to PROVE that I could carry a baby too… Because one night after she died… 
HE said I COULDN’T and WOULDN’T EVER BE ABLE TO
But this n**** I mean these n****'s have finally Gotten It 
Or maybe
I GOT IT
Got the Courage to realize I'm Worth More than what I've Settled For
When I was 14 someone took MY virginity so I never really thought I was worth fighting for (that’s who resurfaced)
Ok so let ME break it down to YOU
For 18 years I was living in Fear
Fear that if a man (or anyone) knew My WHOLE Truth, he'd (they’d) be afraid to really get near... (See how one can just carry that pain)
So I settled for what ANY Man that I thought was REAL would give ME... (He Exposed Me to Real, Now I Hate Lames)
Finally realizing I’ve been hurting MySelf for YEARS trying to PROVE MY WORTH and that I’m actually Worth Fighting For!!

So for the past few years, especially this year I’ve learned so much about My Peace of Mind and understanding that its ok if I don’t feel like settling for certain situations or relationships ANYMORE!

I say all this to say you never know what a person is truly dealing with or what they’ve been through! Sometimes when people are unhappy with their life because they put on for the TwitBookGram, they’ll make you feel bad about yours. Not realizing how hard you’ve fought to get where you are! So don’t let ANYONE come in and f*** with YOUR PEACE, or HAPPINESS!! (That’s the ONE thing YOU actually might have Control over! Most of the time!!)

Besides (Incorrect English) You Got To Play The Game How It Goes! Pressure makes Diamonds (that’s MY Birthstone) over here Not BUST Pipes B****!  So when one door closes 9 times outta 10 YOU won’t have to wait in the hallway too long before another one opens!!

So Don't SETTLE!!  Like I did for as LONG as I DID, because next time it might be too late!! I mean that is if you have FAITH?!? (Yes I cuss and believe in God too!! Rolls eye at you judging Me!!)

In 2018 I’m keeping My Foot on Insecurities Neck and I Ain’t Letting Up!!!

With all that being said, I’M BACK and I SILL HAVE MORE S*** TO SAY!!

I promise this time you won’t have to wait months, I just needed to reset, regroup, cuss a few folk out, while finally removing them from My LIFE Permanently!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR B*****s!!!!!!
XO Anika Camelle 💋

18 Comments

  1. Marie

    February 17, 2019 at 3:04 am

    💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

  2. Chris D Wilson

    January 12, 2018 at 2:21 am

    Wow! This is deep and some great writing. I’m proud of you!

    1. camelleadams

      January 17, 2018 at 12:53 pm

      Aww Thanks Percy!! I’m Proud of You Toooooo!!!

  3. Danielle McGhee

    December 30, 2017 at 6:59 pm

    I see a book too! Keep writing..it is the perfect path to healing! Love you!

    1. camelleadams

      January 3, 2018 at 8:24 am

      You see a book too huh!! Lol Thanks for the love and support Dani!! Love Ya Too!!

  4. Christina

    December 30, 2017 at 10:57 am

    Girl I love it!!!! You need to be trying to publish this. Girl I hate reading , but I read all that. Also I love you and I want you to know that sometimes we have to go through something to make us realize our worth. You are worthy baby girl 😘.

    1. camelleadams

      January 3, 2018 at 8:23 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed reading it!! Publish, a book huh? Well maybe a book in 2018 isn’t a bad idea after all!! One definitely has to TRULY realize their Worth!! Love you Too Cuz!!

  5. Latrecia

    December 29, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    This is everything and more! I’m looking forward to reading your BOOK! (Putting that out in the cosmos) love you ❤️

    1. camelleadams

      December 29, 2017 at 9:59 pm

      A book huh?!? I think I have to get this blogging down 1st … but it’s def not a bad idea Sis!!! Love You Too!!!

  6. Alexis White

    December 29, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    My nigga my nigga! I’m hooked, locked in and READY FOR MORE!!! I love you boo! Great read!!! GIVE ME MORE.

  7. Alexis White

    December 29, 2017 at 7:16 pm

    My nigga my nigga! I’m hooked, locked in and READY FOR MORE!!! I love you boo! Great read!!! GIVE ME MORE.

    1. camelleadams

      December 29, 2017 at 7:23 pm

      You hooked dawg!!! I’m glad you’re locked in and ready for more!!! I promise it’s more coming Boo!!! Xoxo Bihhhh

  8. DontWorry BoutIt

    December 29, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    You betta!!!!!!! Amen for the peace and happiness that no one dictates but self! Thank you for sharing your crazy ass inspirational life & views on it! I love you biiihhhh and most of all i admire you heaux!!! Xoxo

    1. camelleadams

      December 29, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      Love you too bihhhhhh & Thank You for tuning into the madness of my crazy a** life stories!!! xoxo heaux Lol

  9. Latanya Britton

    December 29, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    B****!!!!!!!!(only because you said it several times) I am soooo feeling this here… keep pushing forward and know your worth because as you said “pressure makes diamonds”!!! and you are damn sure a Princess Cut ….Much Love baby gurl!!

    1. camelleadams

      December 29, 2017 at 6:09 pm

      Lol I do say b**** ALOT!!! Thanks for the Love & Support, I like Princess Cuts!!! Much Love back B****!!! Lol

  10. Alisha

    December 29, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    Anikaaaaaa, THIS was EVERYTHING !!!! I’M SOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU LOVE. KEEP IT UP!!!
    LOVE YOU

    1. camelleadams

      December 29, 2017 at 4:06 pm

      Awwww Alisha you just don’t know how much your support means to me!! I pinky promise I won’t keep you waiting any longer boo!! Happy New Years!! Love You Too Boo!!!

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