You ever heard of The Perfect Man?? I mean is there really such a thing?? Don’t get me WRONG there are some DAMN Great Men out there, but then there’s the Horrible Ones too and let’s just say they F*** It Up for Err‘body!! My PERFECT MAN would be Savannah’s Husband you know LeBron James with looks of Tasha’s Husband James St’Patrick aka Ghost aka Those Sex Scenes is what Ya Girl is Looking Foe!!! But instead I’ve come across VINCE, CHEVY, C.G.R, HENDRIX, JAMES, and JOHN DOE. They each have some GREAT Qualities about them, but those muthaf****** FLAWS did for Ya Girl!!

OK LET ME EXPLAIN…

Vince; On paper was AMAZING, but for some reason WE just couldn’t get right! Our s*** just didn’t click, I feel like we weren’t friends enough. I’m to blame, because once he said some hurtful s*** while trying to express himself, I pretty much SHUT DOWN, and the relationship was a WRAP!! Still trying to figure out how WE “FUMBLED” the Damn Ball like that?!?! 

(Takes A Deep Breath)

C.G.R (Couldn’t Get Right) Lawd; have mercy when I say I’ve never been that BROKEN in MY LIFE! You know that fool cheated on me, made a kid, told me my baby didn’t count, then my little dumb insecure a** took him back and he cheated again, amongst all the other s***!! Look he pretty much drug ME by My Hair (Emotionally and Physically Speaking) I’m talking BLOOD, SWEAT, and TEARS!! He definitely taught ME what I didn’t WANT and what I didn’t DESERVE, that’s for Damn Sure!! But I will say he’s a pretty GOOD DADDY, but his a** just didn’t know how to LOVE a Woman correctly! Well Not ME At Least! 

THEN THERE WAS…

Hendrix; Educated, No KIDS, Tall, DARK, and Handsome, with a T.L.D (anyways) Spiritually Inclined, Good Job, No DEBIT well FINICALLY that is… but EMOTIONALLY HIS ass was more BROKE than ME! While I thought I was being a “Good Woman” by BUILDing him back UP because HE was soooo BROKEN from His PAST. He was BREAKING ME in the process just to GO BACK to what Cost Him HIS Happiness in the 1^st Place! Damn In the Next Lifetime I think WE would’ve been PERFECT together! Guess We’ll NEVER Know, Right?!?  

LET’S NOT FORGET…

Chevy; Was 11 years OLDER than ME, let’s just say I didn’t know NO Betta, but had I KNOWN what I know NOW?!? I probably would’ve been a WIFE to A Great Hard Working, Romantic, FINE BLACK Man and a Mommy to His Beautiful Babies… but My A** just wasn’t READY for that LEVEL of COMMITMENT!! I was YOUNG, DUMB, and headed off to College. PVAMU at that, YOUUUU KNOW!!! Lol (Shout Out To Da Yard) Oh did I mention He’s getting MARRIED in April, I’m So Freaking Happy for HIM! 

OH AND…

JAMES; Came into My Life when I was BROKEN and INSECURE from dealing with C.G.R. For years I only got PIECES of HIM and I was OK with that because HE was such a GOOD MAN to ME. I guess being that HE showed ME what I WANTED, NEEDED, and DESIRED from A MAN wasn’t too much to ask, I SETTLED! A FEW pieces of HIM was better than NONE, Right? A SINGLE, HARD WORKING, FINE as HECK, GOD FEARING DADDY raising HIS SON, plus HE took care of 2 Households MINE and HIS. But I realized that throughout the YEARS I’d SACRIFICED MORE THAN HE HAD. I will say He SHOWED ME I’m TRULY WORTH THE WAIT!! That MAN there, set the MuthaF***ing STANDARD for THIS NEW Anika Camelle’s EXPECTATIONS of HER MAN! 

LASTLY…

JOHN DOE; Just like the name remains a MYSTERY… Affectionate, Attentive, Supportive, even has the 3 P Qualities I (ANIKACAMELLE) NEED from MY MAN!! PROTECTS ME, PROVIDES for OUR FAMILY, and PROFESSES HIS FEELINGS (Not Too Damn Emotional Thou)

But from My PAST Experiences I seem to ALWAYS Attract PROJECTS…

A MuthaF**** Who Just Ain’t Got It RIGHT YET or BAD TIMING

BUT…

How could I want The Perfect Man when I’m still an Imperfectly Perfect Woman MYSELF!?! Don’t get it confused I have a FEW flaws but I ain’t that bad and I DON’T come with much BAGGAGE, but I am a Little Damaged. Just from dealing with My PAST, being cheated on, mentally, physically, finically, and even sexually abused, trust issues (Lord knows that Runs Deep) I even got some Daddy Issues! Look I can’t even LIE I’m STILL scared that the NEXT MAN won’t PUT or CHOOSE ME 1^st b/c the LAST man DIDN’T!! I know it’s F***** Up, but it’s MY TRUTH and that’s why I’m STILL working HARD at becoming A BETTER ME. Man this JOURNEY is SCARY, but I know what I truly WANT, DESIRE, and DESERVE!! So being that I’ve SETTLED for so long in MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS, I just can’t do that s*** no more! I know what type of WOMAN I AM, soooo even though there ain’t no such thing as The Perfect Man, there is A Perfect Man for Me!  I just hope I ain’t too blind to see Him whenever God sends HIM MY WAY!! Hopefully GOD will send him SOON, REAL SOON b/c I’m Tired of Sinning. (My Mind went Straight to The GUTTER Y’all)

Anyways I’ll just leave it at that, but don’t worry I still got some s*** to say!!

Happy Valentine’s Day

XOXO AnikaCamelle